This Yoga journey sure is surprising. It really is a journey too, on ehtat I’ll be really sad to reach the end of, I understand now why people keep extending their challange goals. My last post was the pressure of two days and four sessions to go…
It’s as well I’m stubborn around these things. I really didn’t want to go at all at this stage but there was no way I was going to give up either. On Sunday, my second day I planned a break between sessions. In my blinkered vision of the end in sight I totally forgot to account for the Marathon crowds and missed the 3pm session. So my fate was sealed, another double bubble.
Good god, I loved it. Not the first one so much, I panicked and allowed my mind to wander a few too many times, however the second was amazing – I had so much energy to put into it. Granted that may have been the supplement sachet I put into my drink (awesome stuff) but I got my deepest so far into most stances, the one standing bow that I slipped out of was compensated by two reasonable toe stands, hands off the ground and eyes boring into the mirror as if that was keeping me upright.
When I went to tick my final box – the row above that I’ve watched extend at the same rate of mine, populated with smiley faces was being completed. Congratulating the first other 30 day challange Yogi I’ve been able to put a face to she explained she always felt like shouting ‘yes’ when she completed a session, hence the faces.
On the downside I managed to strain a hamstring so badly that I had no choice but to skip my Monday session 😦 another interesting experience. With no knowledge of any injury it was only half way through my working day that I realised I couldn’t even sit properly, the pain was unbearable and increadibly uncomfortable. Eventually, with a lot of walking around it loosened. I’m still trying to work out if this is ‘muscle release’ as I’ve read somewhere about yoga or actually just an injury. I hope it’s the former and that my next session will be my best to date…
As I described yesterday, I was so determined to break the mental block that I’ve been experiencing in each class, today was the day. Only it wasn’t. Far from it I think today has been the toughest so far. I’ve concluded that work before yoga is a bad move, not only for the cramped tube journeys but the random noise that goes on. The days that I’ve reflected on previously as ‘nothing much happened’ I am learning are actually full of tiny interactive punctuation marks. Mostly good, the occasional shake of disapproval or directed comment usually disappear under a mass of more pressing concerns never to resurface. Now I’m suspecting they probably do as these minuscule mentions plagued my mind today throughout yoga and have since lifted completely.
For the pain and craving to break free I’m not sure just how worth it that was. I’ve heard stories before of people completely abandoning their mat and ordered back into place – of people randomly shouting back at the instructor and I’ve witnessed a complete abandon of the instruction in favour of ‘more relaxing’ poses. Today, I wanted to do all of that, run out of the room, sleep, cry – the works. Today I didn’t care about the 30 day studio challenge (Currently day 26, personally 35) nor my 60 day personal challenge. It was scorching hot, I was watching other people throughout and it was only in the final Savasana that I found peace. To get through the things I need to, (such as mass purchasing tomorrow for missing equipment that the bands on Thursday will need) I have to get to the 7am class in the morning… Hopefully I’ll not run out crying and screaming in defeat only 5 more sessions left.
New day maybe, cycle remains unbroken. That is the current challenge.
Inspired by the A-Z theme of life I gave K a little consideration before yesterdays’ class. Once in, it was suddenly obvious, the key to so many postures is ‘Kick’ Kick harder, kick further into your hand, kick your heels up, kick your heels out… keep kicking! Weather standing head to knee, Standing Bow or the floor series there’s a serious amount of kicking going on – not that it’d be so apparent to the observer as it doesn’t look like there’s much happening!
And there was one kick I didn’t want to do – emergency exit from toe stand where you flick your heel out whilst on the floor when you can’t get back to standing in reverse.
So my mission today was exactly that. I was going to really focus on several poses. In Standing head to knee I struggle to lock my leg, sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. That’s the leg you’re stood on as without contracting the thigh, raising the knee caps and something else I’ve not quite figured out, it bends. When that leg bends the teacher can see it before you even realise, and if they’re talking to you it’s time to accept that you won’t be lifting the other leg in front as below:
OK so even on a really good day I don’t get past the first stance here, it looks so easy but how on earth I’m supposed to balance everything on one foot god knows. My body sure hasn’t got this figured out yet.
I did ok at times, I manage to get my leg out forward but every time my mind turned to kicking my heel out my standing leg buckled and I did some serious wobbling. There was no-one behind me so I didn’t have too much weight of responsibility.
Standing Bow. As described in ‘Imagination’ it seems I had a serious lack of it today. I hate knowing I can do postures that don’t work out, but they do say ‘no expectations’ at the beginning of class. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I entered steadily by kicking out first and bending a little backwards, as stressed by one teacher who sternly tells us if we fall out it’s because we’re going to fast into the pose. (‘Charge forward’ does, to me, carry some implication that you need to go forward pretty fast!) Of the four, I fell out of the first pose. I’m not sure what’s going on there, I was kicking and kicking but I think I get to a point where I’m… bored? That doesn’t seem to fit, I guess I start questioning if I can finish it or not. I hate the word ‘lower’ too, and am distinctly aware that it’s almost becoming a cue for me to fall out. Must break that habit. The other three I held. But did I kick as hard as I can? I know I’ve done better before. One day, I’ll be that yogi on a mountain top or by a beautiful lake Standing Bow with all the grace and effortlessness of the image in ‘I’. But not yet.
Toe stand.
😀
Pass. I didn’t emergency exit! Granted I didn’t lift high enough to keep my hands off the floor but today was the first time they came up!
Clearly this image is not me either. I am not male, black or anywhere near to perfecting the pose like this but I couldn’t let him disappear back into the sea of Google Images and it will give me good reason to re-read my own posts sometime…
But you get the picture.
Locust pose today was inspired. I thought the aim was to get your legs off the ground around, two hands maybe? Then I saw this crazyness:
What IS that?? Amazing. It’s not about a kick, but I needed to share that today. I didn’t do that either, but I did get a little higher than usual.
Bow I’m not 100% on how it looked but I felt as though I nearly gave as good as in ‘C’ when I received my only ever well done…
What I thought I was aiming for:
What a REAL kick can do:
How to look a little bit crazy in Bow. I’m sure it’s justified.
I’ll not post pictures of leg stretches, we’ve all seen or tried them at some point and there’s nothing exciting about them. Except for me managing to kick my heels off the ground on individual legs – with two I’ve done it a few times but never with one!
Kicking may have edged me forward in places, I don’t think focus on one thing is going to change much over night but hopefully it’ll knit into the greater learnings sometime. If it does in the course of A-Z you’ll be the first to know about it!
As yoga is know for the benefits to Mind, Body and Soul, it seems a natural choice to capitalise on ‘Body’ for ‘B’. Of course there are many great things that Bikram Yoga does for the muscles, toning, flexibility… but I could drive you crazy with repetition and if it is something that you don’t (yet) engage in then I’m in more of a mood to expose you to the downside today. I have so far found my body to be constant source of amusement to myself that I never really discuss but that inevitably finds ways to challenge my concentration.
The convenience of exercise in a hazard free, toasty room is that on arrival you pretty much just strip off. More so for men who practice predominantly in trunks, but for lasses too it’s a case of kit off – vest top and shorts on. This isn’t a formal requirement but WOW do you feel the heat in anything more! . But this of course rings with it a multitude of different problems. To keep things simple, a full regular wax is probably essential however as a newbie I’ve not got quite so organised yet. On my very first class I found contentment in half-moon pose – arms stretched into the air in front of a mirror and not even a shadow – phew. ‘Lift up and reach to your left, beyond your flexibility’ (OW. Owowow). Up. Back, way back – all the body is concerned with at this stage is trying to get air… then forward. Head on the front of legs, beneath the knees – ayeayeaye! I can ignore the sweat literally pouring out from places that I didn’t even realise could sweat but nearly recoil and the close-up exposure of a rather poor shaving (or rather epilating) attempt. Not only have I missed patches, there are wayward strands that look as though they have never been caught! I instinctively lift my head a fraction horrified that someone else has suddenly been exposed to the same view. And relax, head down, head lower – oh no… winter toes. There is definitely a distinctive dishevelledness that possesses the feet over winter and this is no improvement on the legs.
It took only that lesson for me to jerk into action and get tidy in every crevice possible… but that wasn’t the end of it. Sweat by nature is pretty salty. In Bikram yoga there’s a whole lot of sweat. And swivelling around on the floor. The combination isn’t a great one and within a week or so I found I had sore dry patches in several places including the tops of my feet, shins and just underneath my bum. Nice. Very sore. In fact there was even a day that I didn’t much fancy sitting down at all. Now, armed with talc and body butter I’ve restored my skin to something more bearable and can concern myself less with the negative side of Hot Yoga (I assume it’s not only Bikram that would have this affect) but I do kind of wish someone had told me first… so if you’re looking to take it up, talc, body butter, good waxer. Job done.
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